The Dance of Intimacy

“Most of us have a need to exercise some control over how close we allow others to get to us at any given time. Often this is not even done consciously. We don’t plan to have a fight with our lover today because last night the intimacy was so intense and passionate that it got a little scary. If this does happen, we are usually unaware of the connection between the two events — just another one of life’s little mysteries.

‘We were so close last night. How could we be so far apart today?’

I try to tune my clients into the rhythm of their moves: close, distant, close again. It is the ‘intimacy dance.’ In some version we all do the dance in our relationships. It is the poetry of movement that choreographs intimacy; the rhythms come from inside us and resonate to the inner rhythms of the other. We move in unison with a partner or in opposition to that person.” BETTY BERZON

Related to this topic is Esther Perel’s “Mating in Captivity” a book on the relationship between intimacy and desire.


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